Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Transcriptions Automatiques


(The patient settles himself into the chair. This appears to take some time. Sounds of unspecified discomfort can be heard)

Professordoktor Nyfenfork*: Take your time.

The Patient: This isn't my room.

Professordoktor Nyfenfork: In your own time, tell me where you think you are.

The Patient: You know very well where I think I am. Rather, where I know I am.

Professordoktor Nyfenfork: I would just appreciate your telling me again. We have plenty of time.

(There is no immediate answer from the Patient. Then what sounds like scratching can be heard)

Professordoktor Nyfenfork: Are you uncomfortable? Have I come at an inopportune time?

The Patient: The spines on my arm hurt.

Professordoktor Nyfenfork: How long has this been the case?

The Patient: Let me have my calendar back, and I'll hazard a guess.

Professordoktor Nyfenfork: In due course.

The Patient: My watch, then.

Professordoktor Nyfenfork: I'm not sure it would even fit around that wrist of yours anymore.

The Patient: Then just hold it up where I can see it. I have eyes, don't I?

Professordoktor Nyfenfork: Yes you do. An embarrassment of eyes. I'll need your permission to remove one. For investigative purposes.

The Patient: You've never asked my permission before.

Professordoktor Nyfenfork: Someone signed those consent chits.

The Patient: Well it wasn't me.

Professordoktor Nyfenfork: Please. Do not waste my time.

(Here the exchange ends. It may continue on another of the many as yet uncatalogued cylinders found in the Professordoktor's cabin aboard the Hindenburg II. Notification of such discovery to follow at such time when and if etc.)

*Professordoktor HJ Nyfenfork (dates unknown) was the third of the four Registrars at Saint Feasance's RSF Hospital, succeeding Major JH Cornelius and Lady Otteline Shanks, and preceding Sir Oliver Haddo (HOGD). In the interests of clarity, no attempt has been made to reproduce the Professordoktor's disctinctive accent in the above transcription.


Blogger kellie said...

I can see your house from here.

4:55 PM  
Blogger kellie said...

Parked in the garden.

9:19 AM  

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